Well join the club. That's what ALL of us do on Oscar week. Cuz when it comes to shoving the fame, success and beauty of unattainable goals into our smushy faces, no one does it better than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (Sciences?! I just now decided that is weird).
My resentment/jealousy for these awards has long been a part of my inner workings. For instance, my Barbies** used to get dressed up to attend the awards every year. Because, astonishingly, at least one of them was always nominated! Actress roommates--who, between the two of them, never missed a nomination for 6 years straight?! An unprecedented achievement to say the least. The only catch was (and here is where my resentment showed its ugly head) they never made it to the awards. One would always
My clear issue was this: I didn't want to see my Barbies win instead of me. Even now, some version of that thought still lingers with me. Each year I (deep-down) think, "If someone is going to win that fancy award, why can't it be me?" And this absurd sentiment, I know for a fact, is shared across the board by my fellow longing-to-be-an-actor-of-the-A-list-type friends.
Ridiculous? Absolutely! Because...
A) I am not in a movie this year. Nor have I been in one prior to this year. And...
B) I am a regular person. Chubby, blemished, and just like the 1 billion other watchers who are sitting at home on their couch anonymously. All of us yelling at the TV. Calling perfect people "ugly", one-of-a-kind couture, "unflattering" and decent, well-deserved nominations, "bullshit!".
[Hmmm. It seems that the mere topic of these awards is souring my disposition greatly. I just re-read this post and got the chills at how unrecognizably bitter and annoyingly actor-y I sound. But it's too late to turn back. So if you have made it this far in your reading, congratulations! You are almost through.]
Perhaps this year, instead of watching, I should rip my own Valentino and send myself to bed in a huff. Because when I DON'T watch--I feel like a perfectly happy, lucky, successful person with an interesting life. But when I DO, I feel like I am actually just watching life carve a notch on its bedpost-- indicating it has once again
**Have I mentioned my Barbies before? I believe I have. I blame those b#%ches for a lot of my issues.